FKA twigs opened up about the “deeply horrific” racist abuse she suffered online while dating Robert Pattinson on the Grounded With Louis Theroux podcast.

The English singer-songwriter and English actor were together for three years, when they began dating in 2014 and got engaged the following year but eventually broke it off in 2017. During the new interview, she remembered the Twilight star’s fans drawing relentless comparisons between her and monkeys on social media, which caused a massive blow to her confidence that rippled over time.

“It was really, really, deeply horrific, and it was at a time where I felt like I couldn’t really talk about it,” the “Don’t Judge Me” singer told Theroux. “He was their white Prince Charming, and I think they considered he should definitely be with someone white and blonde and not me. Whatever I did at that time, people would find pictures of monkeys and have me doing the same thing as the monkey. Say if I was wearing a red dress, they’d have a monkey in a red dress, or if I was on a bike, they’d find a monkey on a bike.”

She continued, “I just remembered it had this massive dysmorphic effect on me for about six months to a year, where every time I saw my pictures and photographs, I would think, ‘Gosh, I look like a monkey and people are gonna say I look like a monkey, so I have to really try and hide this monkeyness that I have, because otherwise people are gonna come for me about it.’”

But the 33-year-old artist (real name Tahliah Debrett Barnett) reassured listeners that she currently loves the way she looks and has regained her confidence since enduring the racist bullying from her previous high-profile relationship.

Twigs also elaborated on what she claims was an emotionally draining abusive relationship with her more recent ex Shia LaBeouf. She filed a lawsuit against the actor in December, alleging “relentless abuse” that included sexual battery, assault and emotional distress.

Listen to her entire conversation on the Grounded With Louis Theroux podcast below.